[Jill Malcolm]

 

These are all clichés. Try expressing them in your own words.

 

• Flat as a pancake
• Breathless silence
• Rude awakening
• Memory like a sieve
• None the worse for wear.
• Come down like a ton of bricks
• Pure as driven snow

 

[Srujana Samala]

Here is my attempt

• Flat as a pancake – Planar,levelled,uniform
• Breathless silence – Quiescent, taciturn, hushful
• Rude awakening- thunderstruck , blow , astounded, at a loss for words
• Memory like a sieve – heedless, neglectful, oblivion
• None the worse for wear. – outwear , unscathed, live through
• Come down like a ton of bricks – Savage, Harangue, Castigate
• Pure as driven snow – Pristine, axenic,sheer

[Jill Malcolm]

Thank  Srujana and great you made the attempt. You did well.

Now try finishing each of these cliches (each one is also a simile except for the last one which is a metaphor) with another word that provides a fresh picture in the reader’s mind.

example:

• Pleased as Punch could be:  “pleased as a man with a Midas touch”.

 

Memory like a sieve                              Memory like a……….

Come down like a ton of bricks          Come down like …………

Pure as driven snow                               Pure as…………………

Breathless silence                                    ………………silence                  Think of another word for breathless.

 

 

[Contact NZIBS]

Gasping Silence

Purest light

Memory like a void

Coming down like a weighted stone

Piers

 

 

 

[Srujana Samala]

 

 

Thanks Jill! Here is my attempt , but honestly I don’t feel they are as effective as the clichés ; keen to hear your feedback and the suggested alternatives 🙂

Memory like a sieve                              Memory like a swiss cheese slice ; scattered memory

Come down like a ton of bricks          Come down like house of cards ; Come down like champagne tower

Pure as driven snow                               Pure as the first drop of rain ; Pure as mother’s love

Breathless silence                                    Pindrop silence    ; waiting room silence

[Jill Malcolm]

Hi Piers,

Good on you. You are getting the idea and stretching you imagination at the same time.

[Jill Malcolm]

Hi Srujana,

Well done. There were some really good ones there.  I particularly like pin-drop silence.

They may not seem more effective to you because clichés are familiar. But because they are familiar they are not as interesting or attention grabbing for your reader. Readers gloss over clichés because it’s what they expect and they have read them so often. With the examples you gave, you are surprising the reader and introducing a new picture.